Slam Dunk
by Blob the Blob
Summary: If you happen to see me in the street, please run me over with your car and then go into reverse and back over me again. Why you ask? Let me think, uhm, because there is this FREAKY jerk whom I keep running into everywhere, and he is ruining my life. NxT
1. Something to do with Orange?

**Hello my petite pallies! I started this story to get rid of writers block, but I just want to write this one now… megh. I'm sorry. (Apologizes for no reason)**

**Uh… Disclaimer: I own nothing…**

**IN this story they would be in grade ten, AKA the third year of high school. I'm going by the North American school system, school starts in September and goes until June. Also, there is elementary school (grades k-7) and then high school (grades 8-12) My school system works like this. There's no middle school.**

**(o0o0oLove Youo0o0o)**

Third year of high school, never been asked out, aside from that drunk guy on a dare, and he doesn't count. My last year should be fun, enjoyable, and altogether great. Thing is, the key word here is should, meaning it probably won't. I get really good grades, I'm not that bad looking, but the thing is, I have the 'touch me and die' look going for me. Sort of the ultimate cross between tomboy and lazy. I think uninterested would be the word, or maybe sadistic.

Personally, I think that the worst thing about all this, aside from the fact that I'm talking to myself, is the face that my friends have dragged me into this noise, crowed gym to watch a basketball game. I don't even know what this stupid sport is about. Something to do with an orange ball. Maybe.

"Tennie-chan! We have to go give the team words of encouragement before they start and we won't be able to talk with them, ne? Ne?" My peppy blond friend bounced in front of my face. I glared at her, but nevertheless let her and my two other friends drag me down onto the wooden floors.

"Come on, Tennie!" My pink haired friend cheered, "Sasuke-kun will be there! He's only like, the most popular kid in the school!

"Ino, Sakura, Hinata, how the heck are you even planning on getting close to the team?" I asked, uninterested, really, but I liked listening to my friend's foolish plans.

"Hinata's dating a member of the team, right, so we can get into the classroom that they are having a pep talk in, ne?" Ino babbled, almost incoherently, as my arms threatened to be ripped out. Suddenly, Sakura (Who was holding my left hand) stopped outside a classroom with a sigh tapped up proclaiming 'Do not disturb. Basketball prep in progress.'

"Hinata-chan, you should knock, because you're the one dating that boy after all… eh, yeah." I raised my eyebrow at Ino; normally she would simply barge in without a second thought. She glared at me whist Hinata knocked shyly on the door.

"What do you wan… oh, it's you Hinata." A boy with pineapple hair opened the door. Man he was tall. Are basketball players supposed to be tall? I think so, but hey, what does it matter?

"H-hello, Shikamaru-san. May we come in?" Hinata asked politely. Eh, she's using her commanding voice.

"Eh, sure." The boy, Shikamaru, apparently, pushed the door open a little more and slouched back into the room. Ino grabbed my hand, and I noticed that her palm was a little sweaty. I glanced at her face, confused and noticed that through her makeup her cheeks were tinted a little red. Then it hit me.

"So it's not just a crush then, ne?" I whispered in her ear, but she chose to ignore me and dragged me into the classroom. I chuckled in the back of my throat and let her lead me in.

There's a table… and not much else. Just some guys and a balding teacher. Actually, you can't tell he's bald, because he wears a bandanna over his head, but I know because I took the liberty of whipping it off in grade eight. Ah, good times. Oh look, he still remembers me. I laugh in my head.

"Ah, Tenten-san, I haven't seen you in a while, how are you?" He asked, eye twitching slightly. As if I wouldn't notice, geez.

"Good day, Genma-sensei. Have you been faithfully polishing your bald spot?" The basketball team members glanced from me to Genma in confusion. His eye is twitching even more now. I grinned manically at them, and my eye was caught by this one guy. God, he looks gay. Sadly, my thinking time is interrupted by Genma. Good lord.

"Tenten-san," he paused to cough uncomfortably. I probably would too if my whole team was staring at the back of my head, "You'll give the team a pep talk, will you? I have to, uh, get a drink. Yes a drink." He left the room like it was on fire. Meanwhile, I am left laughing. In my head again, just so you know. Hm, now I have three girls and a group of guys staring at me expectantly. Joy. I turned to face them, spread my arms dramatically, and…

"Ultimately, you are all dead men." Sakura and Ino broke down laughing at fake cheeriness in her voice. Then the gay boy piped up.

"What the hell do you mean by that?" He grunted, reclining on only two of the four chair legs. Oh it would be entertaining to see him fall backwards.

"Well, when you are about eighty, you're heart will suddenly go 'oh deary me' and quit." Sakura and Ino are rolling on the floor now. Maybe it's because I'm addressing him as you would a little child who just asked why he has to eat his vegetables. Or maybe it's the look on this boy's face. The one that reads total astonishment and annoyance.

"That was a stupid question." Snapped Shikamaru, AKA Pineapple man, directing his verbal vomit at the long haired gay boy.

"Ah no, my dear Pineapple Head," He interjected with a 'what', but I glared at him and continued, "There are no stupid questions, just stupid people." I finished passing on this little piece of wisdom, and the boy with his chair legs off the floor gave me a death glare. I grinned back.

"A-ah… Tenten-chan, I believe we should leave now… the game is going to start soon." Hinata stammered, apparently more aware than Ino and Sakura of the fact that this odd boy wanted to kill me.

"Ohkay! Bye Annoying Gay One and co!" I flounced from the room, jamming my hands into the pockets of the baggy sweatshirt I wore to cover the ugly white blouse I had to wear because of school regulations. While we're on the topic of the school uniform, might I point out that the skirt is way to short? I swear my sweatshirt almost covers it. Oh the agony.

The door shut with a thunk, and we made our way down to the gym. Ino pushed some little eighth graders off the bleachers and sat down. Or rather, Hinata Sakura and Ino sat down and I was forced down. This sucks. I get to watch a bunch of males with overblown egos play a stupid game against other males with overblown egos. Joy, joy, happy joy.

I guess I must have zoned out, because Ino is prodding my shoulder and Genma-sensei is saying something into a microphone. How do you even understand what people are saying when they use those things? It all just comes out like 'fksajksdfh' and such. Half the people in this bloody gym aren't even listening anyways. Tch, why should I care what he's saying?

"He's announcing the players names!" Ino whispered excitedly. I rolled my eyes at her. Seriously, there really is no reason why I should care. How many times must I repeat this? I gestured dramatically at the ceiling as if communicating with God. Apparently Sakura noticed these desperate gestured because she poked me hard in the ribs and hissed that I should listen if I didn't want my eyes gouged out. Rubbing my ribs ruefully I returned my attention tot eh front. (Not that it was ever really there in the first place, but you know what I mean.)

"Uzumaki Naruto, number seven!" announced Genma with a cheesy grin. I swear that his bald spot is shinning through his bandana, but I guess that doesn't really matter at the moment. Still the thought is hilarious. I snorted and Ino looked at me like I was insane. But then again, I suppose that I technically am, so nothing new there.

"Uchiha Sasuke, number seventeen!" The stands erupted in squeals and screams. The girl in front of me even fainted. Mulling over where I had heard the name Sasuke and why all the girls in the stands suddenly all suffered spontaneous cardiac arrests, I missed the next few names on the list. Finally I gave up and asked Sakura. She gave me this look.

"Seriously, Tennie, for someone so smart, how can you not know who Uchiha Sasuke is? He's only THE most sought after hunk in the school. Does that answer your oh so ignorant question?" She sighed dramatically and then turned to look at the male basketball team members filing across the gym. Losers, the lot of them. They commit their entire beings to the game and then less than a quarter of them actually make it to the pros.

"Hyuuga Neji, number thirteen!" I glare down at the player who stepped out of line to be recognized. Then I did a double take, nay, a triple take. I like the word nay, it makes me feel Shakespearian. Wait, this isn't the time for my mind to wander. Then I yelled.

"HINATA! YOU'RE RELATED TO THAT GAY GUY?!?!" Then I realized I was standing at that half the gym was staring at me. I mean, aside from his fan girls and this really creepy guy in the front row who was eyeing him like a piece of meat… all right, shutting up now. Thank God my hood is up so you can't see me face. I flop down on the hard bench, smile at Genma who is glaring at me. He knows. Genma knows. Wait, why do I care again?

I give Genma a little finger wave. You know, the kind where instead of waving your whole hand you just wiggle your fingers?

…

GOSH DARN IT! IT"S WHAT MY PERVY GYM TEACHER DOES WHENEVER A GIRL COMES INTO HIS CLASS!!!

…

Sorry, little outburst there. Anyways, I guess Genma decided that he will kill me later, because he started reading out names again. I'm safe.

Wait. I have forgotten something of crucial importance. That guy, Wedgie or whatever, will probably try and get Hinata to tell him who I am! I whipped around to face Hinata. (Nearly killing Sakura, who was sitting in between up.)

"Hina-chan!" I cried desperately, "You can not tell Wedgie or whoever who I am! I know he'll ask you because you're related to him! Wait… you are related to him, right?"

"Uh, if by Wedgie you mean Neji-niisan, he's my cousin?" She said, her statement half a question.

"Yes, well, whatever his gay name is, don't tell Wedgie-o who I am! Please, I beg of you! He'll probably eat me or something!" I whispered desperately.

"Who's going to eat you?" I froze as a cold voice asked the question. My first reaction was to glance down at the court. Darn, Genma's watching so obviously this person has permission to be here. I turn around slowly, smiling like I have an insanely painful cavity in every single one of my teeth.

"Oh hello, who are you?" I say, feigning innocence. I really wish I took drama now. I was never good at lying.

"You know who I am; the real question here is who are you?" Gay Wedgie raised an eyebrow.

"Bob the amazing llama." It rushed out before I could stop it. Ino chocked, Hinata stared, and Sakura hit her forehead with the palm of her hand. Wedgie-o's eyebrow rose higher upon his forehead. He looks old with wrinkles.

"Really." He said. Just plain said. No question, no mockery, no scepticism, nothing. I feel unappreciated. I lied, his name isn't Wedgie-o, it's Annoying-freaktard-icecube-wedgie-man. But maybe that's a little long? Seriously, I need to stop talking to myself.

"Yes really." I grunted, glaring at him. He shrugged and walked away down the steps, fan girls ogling him. Then he stopped and turned around.

"This isn't over yet… Bob." He smirked. The he waved and languidly and continued down the steps.

I hope someone trips him.

**(o0o0oLove Youo0o0o)**

**Read and review please! Reviews are happy crack…!**


	2. We're all Mad Here

**Hello, hello, hello my chums and chumettes. I have to apologize about the long wait for this chapter, but my computer messed up and I couldn't access the internet! Right now I'm listening to really old music that makes me really want to kill something. I need to get some more hyper/ random music…. recommend something for me. I apologize the any Temari fans for any bashings that may transfer between her and the other girls… the reason is because in the manga and anime she isn't on the greatest terms with them anyways. (laugh) Take no offence, thou fans of Temari. (Hey look! A pun! You know, Temari's fan, fans of Temari, Psh, never mind.) Meh, enough talk, one with the story! Love you all. **

_**(We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.")**_

**-**_**Lewis Carroll, Alice's Adventures in wonderland, pg 58.**_

_Recap:_

"_Really." He said. Just plain said. No question, no mockery, no specticism, nothing. I feel unappreciated. I lied, his name isn't Wedgie-o, it's Annoying-freaktard-icecube-wedgie-man. But maybe that's a little long? Seriously, I need to stop talking to myself._

"_Yes really." I grunted, glaring at him. He shrugged and walked away down the steps, fan girls ogling him. Then he stopped and turned around._

"_This isn't over yet… Bob." He smirked. The he waved and languidly and continued down the steps._

_I hope someone trips him._

I sighed in relief. Thank God he didn't eat me. Suddenly the whole gym is blasted with music. My ears… they bleed. On dear Lord, it's the flipping "too sexy' song. Psh, that's a laugh. None of these 'guys' playing basketball are anything near my opinion of attractive. I suppose the screaming fan girls thing differently, but I don't really count their opinions in my land of insanity.

"Hey look!" Ino shook my shoulder, hard, might I mention, and pointed down at the field, court, screw off. There's a mentally instable person on the basketball team. Some brown haired brown with red tattoos on his face (What the hell?) is stripping off his shirt to the music, much to my disgust and Ino's entertainment.

Someone please save me.

Ha, Genma must not like the guys on his team stripping, because he whacked him upside the head. I join in with the laughs of the opposing team. What? It's funny, can you blame me? I was still laughing when Sakura shook my shoulder and minute later.

"They look like zebras." She whispered, pointing at the two referees who had just entered the gym. Her comment sent me into another wave of giggles. I managed to stop giggling when Ino stiffened beside me. Ino anger scale number one, or IAS1, stiffening. I glanced at her and noticed that she's skipped to the second stage, death glare. My eyes follow the hole her eyes have visibly burned in the air to find a blonde cheerleader with four ponytails at the receiving end.

Oh, I know her, Temari, Subaka Temari. The bane of my life. She cheerleading captain, leader of the Shikamaru fan club, and the reason I wanted to move throughout my whole elementary school life. I hated my life in elementary school. She's a year older than me, and she decided it would be fun to pick on me when I first moved to Konoha from the land of Waves. To make a long story short, she would get two of her friends to hoist me off the ground so I couldn't move and she efficiently used her knee to crack my back with force I didn't know a ten year old could possess. Her parents were called in when she broke my tailbone. After that my Dad signed me up for five different martial arts. Anyhow, there's a long history of hate between us, and I don't see that changing any time soon.

Though it would be nice, I don't think the reason Ino's glaring at her with such passion is because she hurt me. Somehow, I think it has to do with her being a total flirt with Pineapple boy down there. Hm, add another entry to the list of hate, I know it has nothing to do with me, but I really detest Temari, so I don't need much of a reason to dis her.

"Don't worry, Ino. I'm sure you'll win him over." I say, mainly because the sound of Ino's teeth grinding (IAS4) is very annoying. I know I suck as a friend, but hey, l try. My little speech has apparently soothed Ino-pig, as she turned to watch the other team. But that could just be me as she fingered Temari beforehand.

I sigh and my eye is suddenly caught by a flash of ebony hair. My first thought, wow, he's got a good dunk. My second though, wouldn't it be funny if his hair got caught on the rim and he was left hanging there?

Tch, so what if I'm mean? At least I admit it. Sticks and stones are what little girls are made of… wait? Darn, that's sugar and spice, ignore my raving mind.

"How long are they going to warm up for?" I moan, rubbing my temples because my head is starting to throb from begin bombarded by loud rap music promoting teen's making out and other unmentionable things and the 'kya's of screeching fan girls.

"I don't know." Sakura answered vaguely, playing with her hair, apparently entranced by Konoha's heart throb. Some girl screamed about his beautiful hair as she jumped in her seat in front of me. I take a look and really, it looks more like a chicken's arse to me. I sigh and mutter various atrocities under my breathe. Beside me Ino is humming some horrid song and I am really tempted to smack her face into he next life.

Suddenly, the music is cut off abruptly and Genma walks out into the middle of the gym.

"Thank you for waiting, we are now ready to begin the…"

"Halleluiah!" I yelled. The crowd breaks out laughing. Or, the male members of the crowd do, the fan girls just pout. Then Hinata poked me and pointed to Neji.

'Shut up Bob' he seems to be mouthing angrily. I stuck my tongue out at him. So what if I'm immature, get a life loser.

"Game…" Genma finished lamely. There was a long pause until this boy broke the silence.

"Yay?" He asked in confusion. I rolled my eyes. (It's kind of my trademark move.)

"No, idiot, it's 'boo'.: I moaned sarcastically, and Ino and Sakura laughed. Down on the court, Genma looked a little flustered. The two teams started to shift uncomfortably. I see Wedgie, wait, it's Neji, right? Whatever, I see him glaring at me with those freaky white eyes. Probably blaming me in that pea sized mind of his.

Tch, whatever.

"Uh, alright then, I hand it over to you, referees." Genma says, his self-confidence visibly shaken. The two zebra men walked onto the court, followed by the first line of players. The minute the supposed 'heart throbs' of Konoha step onto the field, the stupid, annoying fan girls all started cheering and squealing. Oh yes, there's also a few fainting ones too. If I didn't know why they were dropping like stones I'd have guessed that there'd be a snipe somewhere, but I do know, so I don't wonder.

PineappleHeadBoy is standing at the center beside this other tall guy form the other team. ChickenButt, Wedgie, RamenDude, and FreakyEyelinerMan are spread around them in a screwed circle. I make them sound like super hero's from a comic for five year olds don't I? The Stupid Five, Wedgie, PineappleHeadBoy, ChickenButt, RamenDude and FreakyEyelinerMan to the rescue!

The referee gives a sharp blast on his whistle and Thing 2 (the other referee, FYI) tosses the ball in the air. PineappleHeadBoy and the other tall one jump for the ball. Somehow Pineapple manages to hit it backwards to Uchiha who sprints whist bouncing the ball to the net. Some guy jumps in front of him, but he doesn't nave the ball anymore.

It's flying. Suddenly Wedgie jumps out of nowhere and grabs the ball, slamming it through the net. He hangs onto the rim for a minute before dropping, catlike, to the ground. Thing 1 blows his whistle loudly so you can hear it over the screaming crowd.

"That's why their team names is Shinobi." A girls voice said behind me.

"Yeah, aren't they so great?" for some reason, the conversation behind me intrigues me more than the game, so I lean back slightly so I can listen in.

"Uchiha's red hot!" Giggled the first girl. Ohkay, maybe not so intriguing, still, better than whatever game they are playing down on the field.

"Yeah, but I like Gaara better, his eyes are just so dramatic!" The second girl lamented. Urgh, lovesick fan girls.

"Matsuri! He wears makeup! He's gayer than the Hyuuga!"

"Nah, Hyuuga's defiantly gayer." Hey look, someone who agrees with me about Wedgie's sexual preferences!

"Well anyways, I think that Subaka and Hyuuga are hott." The second girl, Matsuri, continued. I mimed barfing.

"Tch, look Matsuri-chan, that girl in front of us agrees with me." I turned around and grinned sheepishly at the younger girls. Busted.

"I see, so why don't you like them? Give me there reasons." The Matsuri girl crossed her arms over her chest and frowned at me. Her friend began to apologize for her rudeness.

"Sure, why not." I said, cutting off the second girl and obviously surprising Matsuri. "May I start?" I asked, and they both nodded, leaning closer to hear. "Firstly, I have no beef against the Subaka kids except that he goes overboard on the eyeliner." Matsuri frowned at this and seemed to be about to say something before her friend quieted her.

"Further more, against Wedgie-san I have many grievances, including gay hair, gay name, pratty personality, superiority complex, creepy eyes, the list goes on. All this is funnier when you realize I've only talked to his twice." I shrugged and turned back to the game, leaving the two girls to squabble amongst themselves.

(wereallmad)

"No, I don't want any tea… no, no cake either, thank you." I muttered sleepily, then suddenly jolted upright.

"Ohayo, Tenni-chan!" chirped Hinata. I propped my self up on my elbows and looked around. I'm in Hinata's room. The clock reads six in the morning. "You fell asleep at the game, so I phoned your Dad and asked if you could come sleep at my house."

"Uh, how'd you get me here?"

"Neji-niisan carried you." I stared at her.

"Do you have a vat of disinfectant?"

"Uh, why Tenni?"

"Uhm, ew, your cousin touched me, I have to get rid of the germs."

_To be continued…_

Hm, I thought there was more of Temari bashing… my bad. I love the Superhero Five. PineappleHeadBoy, ChickenButt, RamenDude, FreakyEyelinerMan and Wedgie!!

Read and review? I like reviews, thank you to those who reviewed the last chapter!

Sorry for any spelling mistakes, I though I checked it well enough... but meh...


	3. Toast and Nevis

**Hello my friends! Welcome to the third chapter of 'Slam Dunk'! I just realized that basketball doesn't play the biggest part in this Story. Whoops, my bad, my bad. It's still going to be there though, don't worry, poppet.**

**Aoiro Kuma, thank you for the hilarious reviews! I nearly lost a mouthful of pop thanks to you! It was good pop too… (sob) Ohkay, I'm good now.**

**I'm kind of wondering if anyone aside from me goes and reads the fics written by their reviewers? Sometimes I feel weird about it for some reason. Maybe it's just me? I wonder if anyone actually reads this… on well, it's fun to write random notes anyways. XD**

"_**If you lend someone twenty dollars and never see that person again, it was probably worth it."**_

_**Anonymous**_

_Recap:_

"_Do you have a vat of disinfectant?"_

"_Uh, why Tenni?"_

"_Uhm, ew, your cousin touched me, I have to get rid of the germs."_

**(Pandaopolis)**

Welcome to breakfast with the Hyuuga children, also known as hide with Hinata away from creepy white eyed brats flinging toast and food everywhere. I wish I was an adult right now, because they get to eat in a separate room and probably have some semblance of sanity. Sadly the many cousins of Hinata have none, not even an outward appearance. Basically they are all built on the image of Neji, looking perfectly like girls but have no brains and are actually boys. Is it Hyuuga custom for their children to cross-dress? Wait, no, I met Hinata's father this morning, and I though he was an incredibly ugly woman until I realized he was a man. It must just be the whole clan has to cross-dress, which is seriously disturbing.

Even more disturbing than the Stupid Five, and that's saying something.

I'm sitting at the head of the long wooden table that reminds me of something out of a Harry Potter movie beside Hinata and sadly Neji. Hanabi, Hinata's little sister and evil little daughter of the devil, is currently chucking burnt toast at Neji who is ignoring her and the pieces of toast bouncing off his incredibly thick skull.

Wait a second! He's starring at me?!

"What the hell are you looking at, girlie boy?" I asked sweetly. He jolted, as if not aware that I was sitting right in front of him.

"Your ugly face." He deadpanned, blocking a flying egg with his hand.

"Shut up, or I'll shove a Nevis up your ass." I threatened, waving my knife at him for dramatic effect.

"Tenten-chan, what is a Nevis?" asked Hanabi innocently, dropping the projectile, i.e., a piece of toast, she had been about to launch at Neji's head onto the floor.

"I have no clue, but it came up on spell check when I was writing death threats to Neji!" I chirped, picking up the piece of toast and finishing Hanabi's goal. Did you know that toast makes a sort of snap, crackle, pop sound when it hits something incredibly hollow? If you haven't realized, I'm referring to Neji's head at the moment. I found this incredibly hilarious until he chucked his sunny side up egg at me.

"This means war!" I screamed, jumping onto the table and pointing dramatically at Neji's still stoic face. "FOOD FIGHT!"

"Uh, if you haven't realized, there was already a food fight going on."

"Shut up, it has been unofficial, and now I have officalized it!"

"That's not a word."

"Your face!"

"Hn."

"Haha, that's not a word either, eat your own words, loser!" I laughed in my head, no, actually I laughed whist dumping a cup of milk over his beautiful hair. I really can't believe that my hair is shorter than his. I really should ask Hinata if it's like a Hyuuga law that they all must look like the opposite gender.

"You're annoying." I really don't know how Neji managed to say this through the swirling chaos of food and Hyuuga's covering him, but somehow he managed.

"I know, I could be described as blunt knife sticking painfully into your side." And then, deciding upon that that it was time for Hinata and I to take out leave, I grabbed her by the hand and dragged her out of the chaos, cackling madly all the way.

**(Pandaopolis)**

As we stood, panting, behind the recently slammed door in Hinata's bedroom, I noticed that there were three oddly shaped lumps on her bed. Upon closer inspection, they appeared to be three different pairs of knee socks, presumably to go with her uniform, and though one pair was black, the other two were stranger. One was coloured with neon rainbow stripes, while the other was a blinding lime green. For some reason I couldn't see Hinata ever wearing these… things.

"Hina-chan, could I borrow those for today?" I asked politely, pointing towards the brightly coloured articles of clothing lying on the bed. She shrugged and nodded and I grabbed one rainbow one and one green one with a word of thanks. We both slipped into our school uniforms, which I am glad we didn't wear to breakfast, by the way. Then I pulled on the borrowed socks. Hinata just looked at me and grinned, an old thing with Hinata, but oh well.

"Hey, we look like polar opposites, ne? You're uniform is nice and unwrinkled, while mine is rumpled and wrinkled from sleeping in it. And I love these socks, by the way. They remind me of Pippy Long Stockings." I gestured first to Hinata's dark blue socks, giving her the impression of being prim and proper, and then to my borrowed socks, mismatching and one slightly falling down. Hirata giggled, politely covering her mouth with her hand.

"Hinata-sama! It's time to depart!" Came the rough voice of the Hyuuga chaffer. Hinata hurried towards the door, but I grabbed her hand and pulled her to the window.

"This way's quicker!" I laughed and opened the window, "Besides, this is only the ground floor!" I lowered myself out the window and dropped to the ground, ignoring the fact that my skirt flared up. I landed gracefully and turned to help the uncertain Hinata out of the window.

When we were both on the ground I pulled her over to the white limo idling in the driveway. The chafferer bowed to Hirata as he opened the car door. As I climbed in I caught him eyeing my socks apprehensively. I grinned at him and jumped up into the car. With a plop I dropped my bag on the carpeted floor and sat on a plush seat. Damn the Hyuuga's are rich. I glanced around the space. Hinata sitting fiddling with her fingers, the chauffeur turning out into the road through a tinted window, and **him**.

"Seriously, are you a stalker?" I asked him blandly, ignoring Hinata's squeak of protest. Neji glared at me with what I now dub as the Hyuuga glare. I shook my head sadly, shaking a finger in his direction. He grunted and turned to look out of the window.

"Oh, hey, you have a bit of toast in your hair." I leaned over and pulled it out with my annoyingly long fingers. Sakura says they are 'elegant' but I just think they are stupid. Neji turned and glanced at me, eyes slightly widened in surprise. Then I realized how flipping close we were. Think fast Tenten, think fast.

I pulled away and grinned, holding out the piece of burnt bread between two fingers, trying desperately to suppress the blush rising to my cheeks. Wait, why am I blushing? I don't even like this kid, and I haven't had a crush on anyone since that kid I saw a few times when I first visited here to get the transfer papers in order. I leaned back into my seat, pressing my burning face against the cold window; ignoring Hinata's questions and the puzzled look that girly boy was sending me.

**(Pandaopolis)**

_I was sitting on a swing set, waiting for my father to finish finalizing our transfer papers. My mother was standing across the playground, talking to a beautiful lady with long black hair and piecing eyes, I couldn't quite tell what colour. I had a red bucket in my left hand and a yellow spade in the other._

"_What are you, a panda?" asked the boy sitting across from me. My younger and more foolish self looked at him and grinned._

"_Yep! I'm a vicious panda!" I gave a small roar, which came out as more of a high pitched squeaked because of my small vocal chords. I dug my spade into the sand and dumped some in my bucket._

"_Panda's aren't vicious, they only eat bamboo." He said, ruining my lovely statement in a few seconds. I stuck my tongue out at him. He replied by calling me childish._

"_I am a child, and so are you." I explained in my high pitched toddler speak, pointing at him with my shovel. He glared at me then smiled, helping me dump more sand into his bucket with his hands._

"_No, I'm a panda too." He laughed, packing the sand into the bucket._

"_Then let's be panda's together!"_

**(Pandaopolis)**

I jumped out of the car the minute it stopped, surprising the driver when the door almost hit him as he went to open it. Hinata and Neji exited more slowly, staring at me.

"Tenten-chan?! What, where, wha -?" Hinata called after me.

"I'll see you later in English, Hinata!" I called over my shoulder as I dashed away. I rounded a corner and dashed out of their sight.

"But…" Hinata trailed off, one arm extended in front of her. Neji shrugged. Then the light when on.

"Wait, did you just call her Tenten." Oh bravo Neji, you should win an award or something.

_To be continued…_

**This isn't a very humorous chapter, I'm afraid. I promise to try more next time. By the way, the dicider this time around says Pandaopolis, as in PANDA and OPOLIS. Like a domian, city, area populated by many pandas, etc. My goal is to try and get at least up to chapter five done before school starts again. I need to lean determination! Uh, what is there to say…?**

"**Your face."**

**Yeah, Wicked Little Angel gave me that line. Thank you. My foot's asleep now because I sat on it… ouch…**

**Off to fix my foot,**

**Kugi – chan**

**PS: Love you all! Read and review!**


	4. Youthful Panda

**Hum. Hello. I just read this really horrible Tenji one shot fiction with really bad grammar, no plot at all and really creepy OOC Neji. Right, I could never see Neji acting like a skater or saying stuff like 'babe'. Ever. Not even if he was drunk and on drugs at the same time. He just wouldn't. **

**Anyways, enough raving about creepy annoying one shots. **

**I must say, Lee is an incredible combination of sweet and stupid. (laughs) Beware Lee. He'll get you with his drunken fist. I'm sorry, this is all random.**

**Hum. Lee, Tenten and Neji are the same grade and age as the other nine because I was too lazy to writ them into separate classes. Temari is a year older (grade 11) and Kankuro (if he ever appears) is in grade 12. Just thought you ought to know.**

**- Shot –**

**- Comes back to life -**

**Thank you once again to all of you who reviewed! You make me feel so special! (hugs) Hm, do you think I should try and make these chapters longer…? I might update less then though. What do you think? Anywho, I really I have nothing to say except supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. Would you believe that word is in spell check? Well it is. Not that it matters.**

_**("Trophies are shiny pieces of junk you stick on your wall and polish ever four months.") **_

_**Moi, Kugi-chan, in a fit of insulting insanity.**_

**(Pandakun)**

"_Hey, hey, Panda-kun!" I called, breaking away from my mother and running up to the boy waiting in the sand box. My second visit to Konoha while my father continued to finalize the transfer forms. My mother called for me to be careful as she went over to visit with Panda-kun's mother._

"_Hello, Panda-san, nice to see you again." The little boy stood up in the sand and bowed. I hit him over the head and pouted in my little four-year old way. _

"_I thought you agreed to call me Panda-chan!" I scolded, shaking my fist at the startled boy sitting where he had fallen from being whacked by me, "Do it or I'll hit you again!" I threatened before offering my chubby hand to him._

"_I bet I could beat you." He grumbled, but nevertheless accepted my help up. I shook my head at him._

"_No you wouldn't be able to, boys can't hit girls." He scowled and responded with some form of childish logic. I stuck my tongue out at him. A regular occurrence when we met. After our traditional argument upon meeting, I plopped into the sand beside him, getting the back of my summer dress covered entirely in grit, and asked what we were going to build that day._

"_I dunno, I was going to build a castle, or a city. What do you want to build?"_

"_Castle! Castle!" I chanted, smiling ear to ear with childish glee. He responded with okay and we began to pile the sand in the center of the wooden box._

"_Ne, Panda-kun, where do you live?"_

"_Here."_

"_In the sandbox?" I cried, straightening up quickly, "But where do you sleep and where does your mom cook?" I was simply aghast at thinking that my strange friend lived in a sandbox._

"_No, I meant here, this city. I live that way." Panda-kun pointed in a sort of north-easterly direction, though it might have been south-east, or south-west? North-south? I squinted in the direction he pointed and saw a group of houses._

"_I'm going to live here too! When my Daddy finalizes the travel papers!" I grinned, stumbling over the long words as they left my mouth. Panda-kun looked at me oddly. I tilted my head in confusion. "What?"_

"_Do you even know what that means?"_

"_Not really!" I smiled and gestured with my stubby arms back to the growing sand mound. Panda-kun shook his head. Way to grown up for a four year old. _

**(Pandakun)**

"Tenten-sssan. Please pay attention. Sssnakes are a wondrousss mystery of the known biological world." The voice of my science teacher totally killed my moment of remembrance. The only mystery of the biological world here is how he gets his voice to constantly sound like there's a gas leak in his classroom. I slumped in my first period seat. My incredibly mad science teacher continued rambling on about something to do with snakes. Beside me, my equally mad science partner is frantically scribbling nots on a piece of loose leaf paper.

"You know, whatever, Orochimaru-sensei is rambling on about has nothing to do with what we are supposed to be studying and what the test will be one, for your information." I pointed out. My partner turned to me, an almost comically stupid surprised look plastered to his features.

"It… it doesn't?"

"No, it doesn't, Lee. Go take notes from the textbook if you must." I sighed, thumping the open textbook in front of us. Lee looked at it as if it had just popped up out of thin air.

"Yosh! I shall copy the youthful notes on snakes and then the youthful textbook notes!" The ninny beside me proclaimed proudly. Erlack, I can almost see the Anime tears and stars and hearts gushing from him. Might as well give myself a sweat drop if I'm going to be a loser and 'anime-fy' my world. She how desperate this class has made me? Not good I tell you, not good.

"Oh youthful flower," What the hell?! "My bestest pally in the whole wide world and the seven seas has been complaining about this girl who apparently youthfully refers to herself by the youthful name of Bob. Do you happen to know her?" I stared at him. Joy, joy, happy, joy. Even when the Wedgie twit isn't near me he still manages to ruin my living moments. Why God, why? What horrible thing have I done to deserve this?!

"No." I state bluntly before commencing banging my head against the extremely hard polished surface of the desk.

"Really?"

_**Bang.**_

"Yes, Lee. I'm a little busy killing my brain cells here, do not disturb please."

_**Bang.**_

"You're sure?"

_**Bang.**_

"About what, killing brain cells or knowing this Bob person? To both I am positively sure."

_**Bang.**_

"Tenten-sssan, what in my pet sssnakesss ssscaly ssskin are you doing?"

_**Bang.**_

Shoot. It's Pedomaru.

"Well, Orochimaru-sensei, I'm banging my head against a desk." I said calmly. Truth is a virtue, obey it. Wait, that's paradoxical, isn't it? Like, I just didn't tell Lee the truth just now, technically. I don't know myself, do I? Maybe I'm not myself at all. Maybe I'm actually Lee and Lee is actually me. Right, I'm not making any sense at all. Please hit me. (Not really. I don't want to die.)

"I sssee…" Orochimaru hissed in slight disbelief. He opened his mouth to say something else, but whatever pointless thing he was about to say was killed viciously by the bell. Looking a little miffed, he dismissed the class and stalked away from me to the front of the class. I sighed and slung my messenger bag over my shoulder, as I had not even bothered to take out any supplies at the beginning of this stupid class. With a false cheery wave to Lee and took my leave.

**(Pandakun)**

I hurried through the annoyingly crowed, glaring at the twity twits who blocked my way. Urgh, this is too much. Detour time. I pushed out of the slowly moving current of students and out a blue painting door. I walked calmly past a group of teachers smoking at the corner of the school building, waving to my math teacher as I passed them. He just stared at my socks. Yes, they are beautiful, aren't they?

One, two, three, ah ha! Forty-two windows along the side of the school. It's open slightly, as always. I pulled the window open to its farthest point and dropped my messenger bag through. Then I vaulted up onto the window sill and dropped into the almost empty classroom. Kakashi-sensei glanced up at me, but I guess he's used to me coming through the window now, because he just waved lazily and went back to his manga. Don't even ask what's in that book. I stole it once and was very nearly scarred for life. Nevermore.

"That's an interesting way of getting into the classroom." I know that voice. Let's see, it's cold, annoying, twity, I have it! It's Neji. I guess he has the class before me. He must be waiting for the stampede of marching children in the hallway to calm down.

"Whatever you think in your pathetic little excuse for a mind matters not." I shot back, closing the window and dropping my bag in one of the seats in the back corner of the room. Then I walked down the aisle formed by desks and sat on the desk Neji was sitting behind.

"Tch." He grunted. I guess he has no vocabulary. That would explain his lacking social skills and the fact that he cannot have a conversation with more than six words in it for longer than thirty seconds. I rolled my eyes.

"Nice socks." He smirked sarcastically. Is it even possible to smirk with sarcasm? I have no idea, but it was his tone that was sarcastic, not his smirk… I guess.

"Why thank you! They are pretty aren't they?" I responded in my annoying voice with sugar dumped over it. Perfected through long practice until it can right royally tick off anyone whom it is used against.

"I was using a thing known as sarcasm." He muttered under his breath.

"I realize that, I just prefer to ignore that tiny fact and believe that you were actually complimenting me." I said, still using my infuriatingly sweet voice.

"I see."

"This is all hypothetical, of course, for what you know I could be a figment of your imagination at this could be the middle of the night and you would therefore really be snugly warm tucked up in bed and hugging your teddy bear." Oh it's fun messing with people's minds using my strange sense of logic. Ahahaha.

"But then I would be hypothetically be dreaming of you, wouldn't I?" Wedgie asked, resting his chin on interlocked fingers and glazing up at me from under raised eyebrows. I stared at him, feeling that stupid blush from this morning returning to my face. I wish it would take a trip to Australia or something.

". . ."

"What?" He asked, and I laugh mentally because his comment obviously did not have the desired affect on me. That is because I am cooler and more mighty (ish) than all his fan girls and fan boys combined! His stupid twit version of flirting does not affect me! Hahaha!

'What about the blush then?' some weird cynical voice whispers in the back of my mind. Details, shmitails. Who needs them? Let's ignore this fact for a little while, shall we?

"I was struck speechless by the stupidity of what you just said." I said with a straight face. Neji – Wedgie stared at me, dumbstruck. I like to think so anyways, so let's just say he was NOT smirking his annoying little arse off.

"Neji-san, you should get going to your next class now." Kakashi interjected, "The hallway rush seems to have died down. Neji thanked the lazy teacher and walked out of the room. At the door he turned and smirked.

"See you later, Tenten-san." Damn, he knows my name. Oh well, I was thinking of changing it to Bobette anyways. Bob was way to masculine.

"Tenten-san, I'm going to go out to buy the new Icha Icha manga volume, will you write this up on the board for me? When the rest of the class actually makes it through that hell pit we call a hallway they can pick up their copies of _Alice's Adventure in Wonderland_ on my desk, savvy?" I nodded, taking a piece of paper from Kakashi's hand and waved him off, wishing him happy shopping. I think he smiled under that white mask he's wearing. I asked him about it once. He claims to have year-round hay fever.

**(Pandakun)**

I wrote up the day's homework on the board, grabbed a copy of _Alice in Wonderland _and waited for Hinata and the rest of the class to make it through.

"Tenten-chan!" Hinata plopped down happily next to me, cheeks flushed and a tattered school copy of _Alice in Wonderland _in her hands.

"I take it you got over your fainting?" I said pointedly, and she blushed even deeper, nodding. I laughed and continued reading the book. I finished ten minutes to the end of block. I excused myself and told Hinata I was going to get a head-start to lunch. She nodded vaguely, absorbed in the book.

**(Pandakun)**

I plugged in my ipod and sauntered down the art wing hallway. A few of the teachers waved at me from inside their classrooms. They were used to me coming in to art early and leaving late. Art is my favourite subject. I can always get away from my problems in the smell of paper, paints, and pencil. I glanced into the courtyard near the art rooms (put in for inspirational value, apparently.) and spotted my one of my only guy – friends. Guy – friend, not boyfriend. There is a difference, learn it. And he's not a friend like Lee. Lee forces himself on you, and therefore is everyone's friend. I pushed open the glass door into the courtyard with a slight creak.

The black haired by glanced up at me and put his brush down beside him on the concrete flower pot he was sitting on.

"Hey, Ten-chan." He smiled; a talent he says he learned from books. If he wants to learn something, he reads a book.

"What's up, Sai? Ever read ALice in Wonderland?"

_To be continued…_

**Ah ha! It is longer! Wh00t. LoL, anyways, did I make it not funny enough? Mind you, I really don't think my own stuff is funny… so I am never sure if it's funny or not… (sweatdrop) **

**Uh, do you think I made it too obvious that the guy in the garden was Sai before Tenten spoke? Uh… dunno. XD**

**If you want to know, uhm, the problem in this story is (so far) that Tenten is confused about her feelings… uhm, no one cares.**

**Oh, I got the Good Charlotte CD, and I've been listening to it a lot. I like Good Charlotte, anyone else like it?**

**Anyhow, enough rambling, review please!**

**I used pliers to take out a sliver yesterday,**

**- Kugi – chan**


	5. Purple Monkeys in Detention

_("You're not going to go insane and kill someone, are you?")_

_-'I want to go Home'_

Sai glanced up at me, shook his head in the negative form and looked back down at his paper. I peered over his shoulder to look at what he was drawing. Upon inspection, it appeared to be a man dancing, but upon closer inspection he appeared to be…

"Naked. Thank you, I have now officially been scarred for life." I moaned, burying my face in my hands. The moment was ruined by the actual dismissal bell.

"Tch, you've seen my drawings before, you wimp." Sai said bluntly, adding more black ink onto I don't want to know. I glared up at him. In the window behind him a saw what appeared to be the entire student body swarming through the halls. Suddenly Ino popped out of the crowd and pressed her face against the window and mouthed 'hurry up!' to me. I sighed and lifted myself to my feet.

"Well, I'm off to wash my brain out with bleach now, see you later, Sai." I moaned, stretching and then setting off across the hard stone ground.

"Hey, Tenten, why don't you ever eat lunch with me?" Sai asked me. I stopped, not bothering to turn around because he probably hadn't even looked up from his painting.

"I don't really feel comfortable around your boyfriend, okay Sai? He doesn't seem to like me at all." I sighed, shoulders slumping slightly in annoyance. I had eaten with Sai once, but the whole time his boyfriend had been glaring at me and cracking his knuckles.

"I could break up with him." Sai offered. What's with this kid? Does he just go out with that guy for fun? If you want to go out with someone, go out with someone whom you like a lot, not just as a place to get kicks. I shrugged and told him not to.

"You'll make him hate me even more if you did. I'll see you in art then." I muttered and continued away from Sai. The door handle was cold, like Sai's personality, as I pushed it open. Ino and newly arrived Hinata were standing on the other side.

"You were with Sai again, I see." Ino remarked blandly as we walked down the hall together. Hinata glanced at us, but didn't say anything. "What'cha talk about this time?" I shrugged, still a little annoyed at the conversation we had had about his boyfriend. That guy, god, he could get my blood boiling at even a mention of his name. Mind you, anyone whom I really hated could do that. And high on my hate list are Sai's boyfriend and Hyuuga Neji.

"Eh, not much. I got mad at him for drawing men inappropriately again," Ino laughed at this, "and he talked about breaking up with his boyfriend. I told him not too." I added, seeing the worried look in Ino's eyes. Ino was a friend of Sai's too, and she worried about his mental heath as much as I did, in a gentler and less screaming sort of way.

"That's not good, if he's talking about breaking up with him." Hinata commented mildly.

"Nah." Ino and I agreed, the three of us turning the corner to meet Sakura at the section of hall where we ate. As I was looking at the ceiling, I couldn't see her, but as we all had a place were we sat every time pretty much and had sat there since grade eight, I was pretty skilled at maneuvering through the area without looking. My foot shot out to take another step and landed on something fleshy. I stumbled in surprise. No one should be sitting there, it was my spot. Ino cried out as I fell. I was expecting to hit the linoleum hard, but instead I found my face pressed against the cotton fabric of the school uniform. I poked the person I had pinned to the floor experimentally.

"What the hell are you doing here, ya big lump?" I grumbled at him, it was the male uniform after all, and I sat up. Holy mother of my grandma's moth-eaten pantyhose pantyhose. All around me is the basketball team, and Sakura, of course, but since there's only one of her she can't be all around me, can she now? Hm, basketball team, then who am I sitting on? With a glance down I see those annoying white eyes staring back up at me. How troublesome, must it always be him? What have I done?

"Could you possibly get off me?" He asked. I grinned and jumped up.

"Sorry about that, you're in my spot, I'm afraid." I said seriously. He looked at me in surprise. I rolled my eyes. "Good gosh, man, I'm trying to be civil, but if it bothers you so much, I could always kick you while you're down."

"I'd prefer if you didn't." He answered calmly, but I noticed he sat up rather fast, which is entertaining. I shrug and plop down between him and Shikamaru. Ino and Hinata sat in their spots, which are suspiciously empty and coincidentally beside the person the like. I glared at Sakura and she at least had the decency to look ashamed. So it was her. Tch.

"So, how's the Stupid Five going?" I asked, pulling a bento box out of my bag. I received a bunch of confused looks. Oh that's right, they don't know. I smiled evilly. Ino and Sakura sighed and looked away whilst Hinata meeped.

"Stupid… what?" Asked FreakyEyeLinerMan in confusion. Or at least I think it was confusion, because he's as much of an emotionless git as Wedgie.

"You don't know who the Stupid Five is!?!" I gasped, pressing my hands to my cheeks. "Tch, well, I'm not going to tell you." I said, pulling chopsticks out and scooping some rice from my bento into my mouth.

"Please, Tenten-chan, can you tell me?" I looked down into the wide cerulean eyes of Naruto looking up at her.

"Uh, yeah, go beg Hinata for ramen or something. I'm not telling." I said stiffly, laughing in my mind as Naruto cuddled Hinata sulkily. Hinata seemed to be glaring at the space beside me. Oh right, it's Neji sitting there, my bad. I know why she's glaring too, because Neji looks like he's going to leap on Naruto and kill him in some very painful manner at any moment. I think hypothesis he will use my chopsticks, because that would ruin my life as well as Naruto's.

"You want thumbscrews? You can torture him before you kill him." I commented dryly, eating more rice. Yum, tastes like chicken.

"Nnn?" He responded, turning his head to face me. I raised an eyebrow and nodded my head in the direction of the embracing Hinata and Naruto. His eyes darkened and he began to crack his knuckles.

"That's going to give you arthritis when you get older." I pointed out in a bored tone. He turned his glare on me and I raised my hands in surrender. Sort of.

"You're annoying."

"Yo, Hyuuga, that's my line." Sasuke monotoned. They are like the annoying twins. Hyuuga and Uchiha, I mean. They are voice and personality twins. How unoriginal.

"I love being annoying, it fulfills my entire existence, yes it does." I laughed along with Ino and Sakura at the annoyed expression on Neji's face.

"Tch."

"Aw, you know you love me." I poked him in the ribs and laughed again.

"No, I detest you."

"Sounds like French, Je detest Neji!" I spoke with a fake (ish) French accent, gesturing madly with my hands and knocking him in the face. No need to explain who 'he' is. You should know.

"You are so immature." Shikamaru grumbled.

"Oh my God, it speaks!" I fake gasp and pretend to be shocked. As if. "Anywho," I continued, "Why in the name of Neji's tutu are you all here anyways? Don't you have some sort of preppy basketball and singing routine to do? Like, 'Getcha head in the game?' something weird like that?" Urgh, High School Musical… if you haven't seen it, don't. Ever.

"Neji has a tutu?" Naruto asked, what an idiot.

"How should I know? I've known him for what? A day? Two days?" I responded, gesturing to the heavens in exasperation. Oh lookie, Gaara has left to go sing and whatnot. Actually… he probably isn't, but it's fun to think that he is.

"Uhm, actually, Neji-niisan has a t-tutu from when Hanabi d-dressed him up when he was five." Hinata stuttered, and it took a minute for it to sink through my skull. I will admit it's a bit thick. Suddenly I feel like someone has turned a kiln on beside me. Shuffling away seems to be the best option here.

"You. Are. So. Dead." I think he means me because he's glaring down at me (he got to his feet, did I mention that?) and not Hinata.

"Erm, behold… purple monkeys?" I say, pointing randomly over his shoulder. He doesn't take the bait. I should have known. He just cracks his knuckles in response. "No hitting girls now, Wedgie-o." I warned, "They might hit back."

"You're not a girl, you're a freaky monster." I twitch at his crude comment. How original is that? But he did insult me, so I better teach him that it's a no-no. Bad Wedgie, bad.

"Sure, can you even attempt to beat me up?" I asked calmly, tucking my dirty chopsticks into my hair, clean end first, obviously, and stand up to take my beating. He makes a noise of contempt. Naruto, Sasuke and Shikamaru seem to be looking uneasy, my girls, however, are not even paying attention. I guess watching the same movie over and over makes it boring, ne? And so it begins.

With a quick kick at my head, which I duck, he nearly beheads Kurenai-Sensei who was handily walking behind me. Lots of laughs, anyways, whilst he stares in horror at the teacher with a growing lump on the side of her head, I take my chance to drive my head into his stomach and shoulder him in an, erm, precious area for males. Yes. It must hurt like hellfire.

"Holy - !" Neji cried out in a sort of high-pitched tone as he collapsed on the ground. Dusting off my hands I sat back down and resumed the consumption of my rice.

"You! Hyuuga, detention for attacking a student and a teacher! And you, detention, because fighting is against school rules, even if he deserves it!" Kurenai screams, mostly at the trembling boy whom I beat up on the ground, but partially at me, I guess. And so I have detention again, joy upon joys.

Sakura and Ino are laughing at Neji and the faces of the guys. Hinata is just blushing… and maybe smirking triumphantly.

**(painted faces)**

Oh, the sun is setting outside the school. Funny how light bulbs make it almost day bright in here. Is no one going to come let me out? I'll trade Neji's soul for freedom right now. Wait, he has no soul. I need a new plan.

"When do we get out?" Look, anti-social sulking boy has decided to talk. I turned lazily in my chair and gave him a 'you're – an – idiot' look.

"When they let us out. What, you've never been in detention before?" When he shakes his head I let my face fall to hit my palm. A detention n00b stands, er, sits before me. Time to ditch this party. (That's a joke.) Kurenai-sensei left with Asuma-sensei an hour ago I believe. And so, with that in mind, I walked over to the window and pulled it open.

"You know it's raining?"

"Yeah, so?" I asked, looking over my shoulder in exasperation.

"You'll get wet." I shrug and jump out anyways. After falling three feet I hit the ground with a squish. Ew, I'm up to my ankles in mud. Then an awfully evil, funny idea occurs to me. I forgot my bag anyways, might as well not have to go back in.

"Oh my god! The rain is wet!" I cry out, and I hear a snort from back in the classroom. The wade over to the windowsill and lean into the room. "Can you pass me my bag please?" Neji grumbles something before roughly grabbing my messenger bag and bringing it to the window.

"Here. You know you are going to get in trouble for this?"

"Nope, why would I? The teachers have deserted us in this hell hole." I say, grabbing my bag, and then, much to the surprise of the boy in the window, his wrist. With inhuman strength I pull him and his bag out the window and into the mud, slamming the window shut in the same movement. Then I laugh at the now mud covered boy. Apparently he doesn't find it funny.

"You're stupid."

"Ha, for that you have to walk me home." He is silent in disbelief. I laugh more before skipping off, laughing at the squishing mud in my shoes. Glancing back to see if he's coming, I'm surprised to see that he is.

Weirdo.

* * *

**Uh… hi. I have nothing to say, except this is a weird chappie.**

**I don't think its' that funny… my stuff isn't funny to me… except in real life. (cackles madly) Oh yes, lots of this stuff happens to me… not all of it though.**

**That's all. Goodbye. Please Review. **


	6. Girl to Boy

**I haven't been disclaiming have I… I feel the lawyers, they loom behind me… O.O Anyways, I own nothing… and that's why I'm here on FANfiction genius. Oh good… they're gone now… fuh.**

_(Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.)_

_-Random Quote, found on the 'web'_

_Recap – because with me, you're going to need it._

"_Here. You know you are going to get in trouble for this?"_

"_Nope, why would I? The teachers have deserted us in this hell hole." I say, grabbing my bag, and then, much to the surprise of the boy in the window, his wrist. With inhuman strength I pull him and his bag out the window and into the mud, slamming the window shut in the same movement. Then I laugh at the now mud covered boy. Apparently he doesn't find it funny._

"_You're stupid."_

"_Ha, for that you have to walk me home." He is silent in disbelief. I laugh more before skipping off, laughing at the squishing mud in my shoes. Glancing back to see if he's coming, I'm surprised to see that he is._

_Weirdo._

**(cancelled)**

"Rain is pretty." I giggle, my socks and shoes now dangling from my hand as I skip through puddles and rivers formed by the precipitation. Little brat boy behind me is sulking. Probably because I took the liberty of washing the mud off him using someone's garden hose. He says I ruined his homework, I said he ruined my week. When he doesn't reply to my lovely statement, I spin dreamily on the spot and continue talking, "It's like the stars are falling around us!"

"That would really hurt, because stars are actually gigantic balls of fire." Neji comments bluntly and I glare at him.

"Fine, don't be romantic." I grumble.

"You want this to be romantic?" He asks, raising his eyebrow in that god awful annoying way. Damn him and his stupid logic.

"No." I protest, chucking my shoe at him. He catches it and throws it back at me. It sails over my head and lands in the road, where it is immediately run over by a bus. I cough awkwardly to cover up my laughter. "You owe me a new pair of shoes now, genius." I dead-pan trying hard not to laugh mercilessly at him. Loser, prat, Wedgie. He grumbles in annoyance as we walk on.

"What shoes do I have to get you?" What? Okay, I wasn't expecting that. I was kind of more leaning towards thinking that he would go and buy me some bright yellow clown shoes or something weird like that. Wordlessly, I hand my remaining shoe to him. He takes it just as silently. We walk on, leaving my flattened left shoe in the puddle.

Darned awkward silence. I'm feeling rather out of character, and I don't like it one bit. Ah, behold, salvation is upon me.

"Oh, err, look, my house, got to go, see you later Neji!" I mutter nervously before dashing into my house. Once the door had shut behind me, I realized that I almost wanted him to ask me to stay. I count the stairs as I dash up them, as I do everyday. Only one thought spirals through my mind.

_I can't possibly be falling for a loser with a popsicle up his rear… can I?_

**(cancelled)**

**Welcome to Third Person, my friends…**

Standing in the rain isn't really the most fun thing to do. Especially if you're staring at a small but cozy looking house with a woman's shoe in you grip. So, the black haired boy shrugged once and continued down the various streets until he reached the secondary gateway into the Hyuuga Compound.

"I'm home." He called as he slipped his shoes off in the entrance to the gigantic mansion.

"Where in Kami's name where you." The question became a statement as a short pre-teen stepped into view at the end of the hall. She marched down the hallway, emanating anger as she stormed towards him.

"I had a detention, Hanabi – sama."

"But you said you'd take me shopping and… wait, why do you have a girl's shoe? You haven't been doing something naughty I hope." The teeny bopper smirked. Neji moaned helplessly and tried not to think of the horrible fact that he now had torture at school and at home.

_At least my sports are still safe…_

**(cancelled)**

**Welcome back to First Person after that brief message…**

One, swoosh.

Two, swoosh.

Three, backboard swoosh.

Four, rim, backboard, swoosh.

Five, backboard, rim, swoo – miss. Bounce, bounce, bounce, silence. Like after **she **left. Left me all alone. I reached down and picked up the circular orange ball. I dribbled it up to the net and let it fly between the rim again.

"Hey, you!" I turned around sharply, and witnessed the horrible scene of Genma pointing wildly in my general direction. I know exactly whom he's referring too, but I insist on turning around and acting like I think he has no sanity and is talking to the wall.

"Me?" I say after five wasted minutes of scanning the wall in a fugal hope that he wasn't talking to me. No such luck.

"Yes, you." Genma snapped, walking over to me and grabbing the ball from my hands. "I've decided. Instead of reporting all the annoying things you've done, including skipping class and detention, you will be accompanying me and the basketball team to the training camp next week."

"The basketball team and I." I corrected his infringement upon the laws of English grammar. Kakashi-sensei would have rolled over in his grave, oh wait, he's not dead yet. Fine Kakashi, ruin my phrase by not being dead. Oh, I'm talking to myself again, aren't I?

"Whatever." Said Genma. I muttered something along the lines of 'all brawn and no brains' but he ignored me and continued his incessant ramblings. "I will get parental permission and you will be coming on the trip as assistant coach. Oh, and one more thing, It's an all boy's training camp, so you're going to have to disguise yourself as a boy."

"WHAT?!" I screamed at the buffoon in front of me. Okay, I've always want to dress as a guy to mess with people, but this is crazy, I'd have to live with them for a week! Ew, and not to offend anyone or anything, but guys are gross.

"You heard me, and unless you want your detention escapade story to come out." Darnn, a threat I can't do anything about without my principal handing me from the ceiling by my thumbs. And I'm not over exaggerating by much. She seriously did do that to someone once.

"Fine. What do I need to do?" I sighed, giving in. Genma gave me a 'I knew you'd come around' grin and handed me a piece of paper from his clipboard before waving cheerily and walked out of the gym, whistling like a teapot. I glanced at the paper and groaned.

Why do I feel like I've sold my soul to the devil?

With a sigh I decided that it wasn't worth the trouble of agonizing over it, and so I grabbed my messenger bag from the ground by the hoop and shoved the paper in carelessly, it'll get out relatively flat anyways. Ho hum, pig's bum.

I flounced into the change rooms after my horrid before-school experience. A grimace graced my features as I unlocked my gym locker and groaned. First block is to early to have to brave Physical Education, also known as the burning fires of hell. I pulled out my gym 'uniform' that the stupid fan girls had designed in their spare time and forced all the girls in the school to wear it. I think they were running low one fabric or something when they designed this stupid thing, because it covers like, nothing.

They replaced the old half-decent one with black short shorts (which I took the liberty of exchanging for a pair of black basketball shorts) and a red tank top. I am so thankful my fan girl supportive teacher has never noticed that I replaced my uniform with the guy's uniform bottoms. I left the top, because it's almost normal. He probably thinks I'm a guy or something. An it, possibly. Mine you, he thinks anything that's not a slut is an it, so there you go. I guess males are it's to him too, not that it matters.

Oh great. Whist I was contemplating the 'it- ness' of my great and esteemed PE teacher, the rabid giggling has drawn up into my personal bubble. Before I could slam my locker and escape, a whole stamped of fan girls (i.e. My sad excuse for a gym class) burst in and began changing into their slut outfits – I mean, their PE strip. I shut my locker, too late, and put the padlock back on.

"Hey, Tenten-san, you got a crush yet?" Oh god, it's **her**. One track mind girl of the random questions. I turned around, bring my smile of pain back into the world.

"No, my dear Jaemmie, I have not, and I would find it very helpful if you did not actually ask me this entirely irrelevant question every single time you encounter me." I said, trying to inch away from the European girl. If she even understood anything I said she didn't show it.

"Oh, well, you know you can always join the Hyuuga Neji Fanclub, I'm president, you know!" Jaemmie giggled. I practically died choking on my own spit.

"I don't believe in fanclubs, they are against my religious principles." I managed to choke out. I pride myself upon being able to keep up my humour even as my life (by choking) looms on the horizon.

"Oh, well then," Gosh, is that her catch phrase or something? Good grief. ""Whenever you want to join, dear Tenten-san, come find me!" she gave me a supermodel grin. I grimaced back. I would rather swim in shark infested waters. It's safer than entering the world of fan girls… much, much safer.

Time to take my leave, methinks. I have this gut feeling that the fan girls are going to start trying to make me join their fanclubs now. As I evacuated the change rooms I could hear their biting cries of 'Sasuke', 'Neji', and 'rubber duckies' chase me out. Wait, rubber duckies, what the heck?

Approaching Jiraiya-baka is dangerous business. Very, very dangerous business. Anyhow, after I made it to the gym without having to sign up for any clubs of fan girl sponsored things, I found out for my hopeless excuse for a PE teacher standing with the other hopeless excuse for a PE teacher, nay, a human being (Genma, FYI) and the entire boys class.

"Tenten-san, we're going to be playing boy's versus girls dodge ball. Any questions?" Jiraiya asked me in a tone that meant, do it or I kill you dead.

"Yeah, it seems more like, me versus the guys, not girls versus guys, because the other girls will just let themselves be hit because they lack backbone." I pointed out as the rest of the horribly giggly girls came walking into the gym and swooned over the sight of the guy's class, as they do every day.

"And that, dear Tenten-san, is why Jiraiya-sensei must be giving them C's and you an A." Genma said firmly. Jiraiya bent down to whisper in his ears.

"Actually, the pervert standing next to you gives me a C and the losers in slut outfits and A. If you must know." I said, smiling sweetly up at the ashamed face of Jiraiya (better be, loser) and the angry face of Genma. The white haired man coughed awkwardly.

"Uh, we better start now." He said and rushed off to pass out small red bouncy balls. Loser. Genma apologized to me, but I shrugged it off, I really could care less. As long as I pass and never get him as a PE teacher ever again, I'm good. I picked up one of the red balls and proceeded to scan the boy's class for the person I hate the most out of them.

Hm, who's in the guy's class anyways, the fan girls would know… ew, the Stupid Five is there, coincidentally. Ha, I should peg Wedgie-o in revenge for getting me into this whole stupid basketball thing. Haha, my plan shall not fail!

Time to kick some girly arse.

_To be continued…_

**Hi, just want to say sorry for a short and non-funny chapter… I wanted to update on the weekend, and it ended up being short… enjoy and review please!**

**- Kugi**


	7. Henshin!

**Hello again my various reader type things! I think this should be a funnier chapter, because I'm like, high, and it should be funny… but no guarantees.**

**Thanks to all who reviewed! I really love reading your reviews!**

_("What it this weren't a hypothetical question?)_

_Anonymous_

After taking out about half the boy's gym class all on my lonesome, because the rest of the hopeless fan girls just let themselves be hit. Not that they can throw anything anyways, so I guess it doesn't matter. Decidedly, it would be better it the stupid loser who call themselves boys just chucked all their ammo at me, and then I could just throw everything back in rapid fire. And so, with my mighty genius plan in mind, I spent my next five minutes dodging and musing over why they didn't realized (somewhere in their pea sized minds) why I was not chucking spherical things at them as well. Obviously, they didn't realize anything. Tch, idiots.

Ss now here I stand, all of about twenty balls scattered across the gym floor around me, and ten boys (including four of the stupid five, I think Pineapple Boy dropped out because it was 'troublesome') standing in various ready positions in front of me, with absolutely no ammo whatsoever. Their loss. With a shrug I began to toss the red circles with alarming accuracy at, ahem, extremely sensitive places. Four boys lying in pain on the floor, six to go!

Then it distracted me again. First time at the basketball game, and now this. It was the hair. Boy's shouldn't have hair that nice. It's a crime against humanity. Anyways, the Hyuuga boy's hair was dancing around in the air (an Irish jig, actually. No of course not! You can't believe everything you read.) and it called to mind a shampoo commercial I had seen between parts of my favorite anime. One of my thrown weapons (the red things, that's we're throwing at each other, remember?) came pelting back and hit me on the outside of my leg. The boy who had thrown it began laughing at me, for some incredibly stupid reason I cannot comprehend. Choosing to ignore his obvious stupidity, I decided it would be interesting to see if Wedgie could actually pull off the head – hair flick thing.

"What the hell are you doing?" I ignored his rude question as I marched across the gym with gusto. Yes, gusto, from someone who had just been beaten, not that I care about such trivial things. I grabbed the sides of the taller boy's head and cranked his neck around at mach five. Surprisingly (or not as such, depending on what you're reading) his hair actually did the flippy thing. Will wonders never cease.

"Holy crap! Are you trying to give me whiplash, woman!" Screamed Neji angrily, reaching out to grab me, but wisely, I stepped back.

"No, I was trying to see if your hair would do that flippy thing. Actually, you should audition for a shampoo commercial. Preferable on advertising female hair products." I said, passing on my extreme wisdom to the obviously oblivious boy in front of me. Before he could thank me for my wise words of wisdom, however, Genma interrupted, commanding me to take the 'great and almighty' Hyuuga Neji to the nurse's office to get treatment for his non-existent whiplash. Sadly, I have been recruited to be his chaperone, much to my displeasure. Probably his as well. So, as I have no choice but to take Mr. Fancy-smancy pants down to the nurses office, I grabbed his wrist and pulled him after me, the fan girls erupting in 'kyas' and 'no fairs' behind me. They are such wimps and followers. Halfway down the hallway to the nurse's office Wedgie decides to grace me with the great knowledge of knowing he possesses the ability to speak.

"Could you let go off my wrist?" He asked rudely. I rolled my eyes and dropped his wrist like a hot coal.

"Yes master, sorry master, would you like me to lick your shoes, master?" I asked sarcastically.

"No, you'd get cooties all over them." He answered plainly, as if this little piece of information was common knowledge.

"Uh, right then. I don't think 'cooties' is actually a word, but whatever floats your boat." I responded, making a right turn into the nurse's office. With a sharp kick the door flew open and I walked right into a scene I wish hadn't ever seen in my life. With my superb ninja skills I sensed Neji stop behind me. Fine, he crashed into me in shock, but that's not the point.

"Asuma-sensei, Kurenai-sensei?!" I spluttered, just as the nurse, Shizune, walked into the room and managed to drop all her medicines she was carrying on a tray all over the floor, he face bright red.

"Asuma and Kurenai! Never, in all my days as nurse, have I walked into my office and found two teaches setting such a horrible example for students!"

"You mean he was doing very inappropriate things to her." I stated bluntly, causing Kurenai to go a deep shade of maroon. I think her face is going to explode from the blood pressure. Shizune sighed and ushered them out of her office and told them to behave, but I think they just went off to find a broom closet somewhere.

"Alright then," She sighed, after Neji and I had helped her pick up all the medicines and other nurse junk that had been scattered when she dropped them. "What are you two here for?"

"I gave him non-existent whiplash." I said, "He thinks he's going to die and so I was forced to bring him here so you could confirm for his pea-sized brain that he never actually had whiplash." I added in a cloud of incorrect grammar.

"Alright, but I should still give him a check up." Shizune said pleasantly, "Please sit over here, Hyuuga-san."

"Yes Shizune-sensei." He responded.

"Oh my gosh! You have vocal chords!" I exclaimed, feeling the need to express my deep and profound thinking. He gave me an annoyed glance before sitting down on the really uncomfortable looking plastic bed. Shizune began to poke and prod him while asking him if he felt anything. After a while I guess she deduced that I had been telling to truth.

"Well, Hyuuga-san, it seems that Yumi-san was right all along." She said, nodding at me. Of course I'm right; I'm that one who supposedly gave him whiplash. With a roll of my eyes I nodded and asked if I could leave. Shizune gave permission and Neji acted as if he had just had his vocal chords removed. I.e. He said nothing. With a little wave I flounced out of the classroom and into the hallway. I took a few steps down the long abbess, and I found my self crashing into a tall balding man.

"Yumi-san!" I glanced up to see Genma looming over me in all his hair-less glory.

"Oh my, you're using my last name now!" I exclaimed from my slightly uncomfortable position on the floor. He grunted in response. How's that for articulate?

"Yes, yes, Yumi-san. Would you please remove yourself from the floor? I have something important to inform you of." He asked. I shrugged and heaved myself to my feet, knees protesting. God I feel old…

"Aiya, anyways, what do you need to tell me?"

"Yes, Yumi-san. Originally there was going to be a separate room for the assistant coach, but now it seems that you will have to bunk in the guy's dorm room." I starred at him, lost for words. "Also, I have told your teachers thet you will not be present on Friday at school, as you need to go get your disguise done without the chances of any of the team seeing you." I nodded slowly. He nodded back and turned away. Great, I have half a day to become a guy now. Joy.

**(Ring Ring Ring)**

"Mom, can you drive me to the mall, pay for a haircut and streaks, and then to Sai's house so I can steal his clothes?" I called, pulling a baggy black sweatshirt over my head.

"Fine, fine." My mom knows were I'm going. It would be scandalous not to tell her. I was kind of hoping that she wouldn't let me go, but she was all ecstatic and happy that her 'little girl' is good enough to coach boys. Please excuse me whist I go barf. "Let's go."

I pulled on my black vans and jumped out the door, landing in a slushy puddle of half melted snow. My mother scolded me as we made our way through the snow – rain to the car. I clambered into the passenger seat and slipped the seatbelt over my shoulder. With a twist of the key my mom started the car and backed cautiously out of the driveway.

Within fifteen minutes we had made it the mall and gotten me seated in one of those leather salon chairs. An Asian woman was taking commands from my mother and I, cutting my hair so it was long and messy for a boy, but extremely short for a girl. She also gave me side bangs, which I think look better than my fringe and buns before. Afterwards the lady, her name's Ge Lai Si or something, streaked my bangs red. I like it. I bounced out of my hair after my mother. We were walking out of the salon when one of my mothers friends came rushing up.

"Ah, hello! Oh.." Then her eyes widened. I mentally laughed. "I didn't know you had a son!" My mother is shocked into extreme silence, which is very out of character for her.

"No, I'm her nephew, er…" I said, pausing at the end. Name, I need a name.

"Tian. My nephew Tian." Cut in my mother.

"Nice to meet you, Tian. What an odd name." My mother's friend held out her hand. I took it warily.

"Yes, many people say that but…" I stopped. Oh no. I should leave now…

**To be continued…**

**Sorry this chapter is short…**


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